(Cover Image Credit to: http://tiny.catpa.ws/life-is-good-to-me/)
Well hi there! I’ve been quite slacking on my blogging duties these past few months! I’ve been pretty busy this past semester, but all the hard work has definitely paid off — I finished off this semester with a 4.0!! It’s definitely a nice reward for all the hard work I put in. 🙂
Being on Christmas break now, I have been trying to take advantage of all the free time I have (other than picking up extra shifts a work :P) by relaxing, crocheting, and hopefully I will be baking and cooking some new things! I am super excited to get back to some of these things that I haven’t gotten to do much since Summer.
If you follow my Instagram (@laurensfitlife), you’ll know that I injured my IT Band about a month or so ago. It was tough to come to terms with at first, but I quickly came to think of it as something that I really needed, both mentally and physically. The reason I say this is because eating disorder thoughts have been taking up essentially a lot of my thoughts for at least the past year, and it’s something that I hide from people in real life because it’s something that feels very personal to me. Although I have never actually been diagnosed with an eating disorder, I have without a doubt had ED thoughts in regards to food and exercise. A little while before my injury I really began to think that I need to just take a break from my “normal” routine, which was eating as healthy as possible, restricting myself from almost all “unhealthy” foods, and exercising a lot 6 days a week. So this is why this injury is something that I consider to be a blessing — it kind of forced me to do what I’ve wanted, but have been so afraid to do: rest, eat what I want no matter how healthy or unhealthy, and just think more positively about things and not worry about things that aren’t worth worrying about.
Surprisingly, this all came a lot more easily to me than
I thought it would. I have been having more positive thoughts, and I have also truly been enjoying my life more. I guess I never really realized until now that for the past year and a half or so, I really haven’t been truly enjoying certain parts of my life. When I look back on it, I essentially let the whole health/fitness thing take over my life. Now, I’m not saying that health and fitness are bad, because they are obviously very important things, but when you let it rule your thoughts and actions every minute of every day, you are not living in a healthy way. I am so glad that I am realizing this now, before I really miss out a a big chunk of my life.
Currently, I am still in a “resting” mode in a sense. I have still been working my upper body and doing the bike at the gym, but I do it because it makes me happy, not to burn extra calories or to “make up” for something I ate. I am also still having more rest days than normal, and I am okay with that! Having more than one rest day in a week used to terrify me, so feeling the way I do now is such an amazing and freeing feeling. 🙂 My leg has really been feeling better in the past few days, which is so nice because I can actually walk around with little to no pain! I have been doing physical therapy for the past few weeks, and I can for sure already feel a lot of improvement!
Normally, athletes or people who just like to exercise obviously don’t like injuries. But to me, I feel that it has been and still will be a huge benefit to me in many different aspects. I don’t want to say that it literally “saved” me, but it did save me from my bad thoughts, and it is leading me on the road to a better life. It kind of prompted me to do what really needed to have been done for quite some time now. If I didn’t have this injury, I would probably still have those negative thoughts like “I can’t eat that because it has cane sugar in it,” “I really regret eating that,” “I need to workout after what I ate today,” etc. Those thoughts would have just continued into a deeper negative spiral, and I really don’t want to know where I would have ended up.
So to my injury, I thank you. I am thankful for this life that has been given to me. I have been handed this difficulty because God knows that I can handle it, and I am now on a better road. Sometimes blessings are truly hidden, but once we realize the blessings in our lives, we will be more at peace and will be headed in a more positive direction.